When my mother-in-law has her intermittent emotional upheavals, or my [tag]children[/tag] insist on fighting with each other it’s very tempting for me to punish them or dismiss them for their bad behaviour and walk away. But does this really help me or them? I could talk to them sensibly about their needs and mine and try to figure out how we can both get them met. I could offer them advice or help or even bribes. I could calmly reason with them until the cows come home. But the probability of these maneuvers working and me getting the peace I yearn for is always hard to determine.
A while ago I received an email which changed the way I think about my reality altogether. The email was an excerpt from an book written by Joe Vitali (you can see him in The Secret) about a Hawaiian shamanic practice called Ho’oponopono. This practise, we can all do. Here’s what Joe says about this amazing practice:
“Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who catalysed [tag]healing[/tag] in a ward of criminally insane patients without ever seeing any of them. The psychologist would study an inmate’s chart and then look within himself to see how he created that person’s illness. As he improved himself, the patient improved. When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best self-improvement master cure the criminally insane? It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t logical, so I dismissed the story.
However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used a Hawaiian healing process called Ho’oponopono. I had never heard of it, yet I couldn’t let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to know more.
I had always understood “total responsibility” to mean that I am responsible for what I think and do. Beyond that, it’s out of my hands. I think that most people think of it that way. We’re responsible for what we do, not what anyone else does, but according to Kahuna philosophy, that is just the beginning.
The therapist who helped those mentally ill people taught me an advanced new perspective about total responsibility. His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four years. The ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous. Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place to live, work, or visit.
Dr. Len told me that he never saw these patients. He agreed to have an office and to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal. After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to walk freely. Others who had to be heavily medicated were coming off their medicines. And those who had no chance of ever being released were being freed. I was in awe. Not only that, but the staff began to enjoy coming to work. Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. “We ended up with more staff than we needed because patients were being released, and all the staff were showing up to work.” Today, that ward is closed.
This is where I had to ask the million-dollar question: “What was Dr Len doing within himself that catalysed such deep healing?” He said he was simply healing the part of himself that created them. I didn’t understand. Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that everything in your life, simply because it is in your life, is your responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.
This is difficult to understand! Being responsible for what I say or do is one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way experience is your responsibility because it is in your life. This means that terrorist activity; the president, the economy or anything you experience and don’t like is for you to heal. They don’t exist, in a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem isn’t with them, it’s with you, and to change them, you have to change yourself. This is a challenge to grasp, let alone accept or actually live.
Blame is far easier than responsibility, but as I reflected on what Dr. Len was teaching, I began to realise that healing for him means discovering [tag]love[/tag] as yourself. If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to help someone heal, even a mentally ill criminal, you can do it by healing yourself.
I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing when he looked at those patients files? He replied: “I just kept saying, “I’m sorry” and “I love you”, over and over again”. That is all he did! Experiencing love within yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve the world.
I decided to practise this method one day when I became upset after reading an email that someone sent me. In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons or by attempting to reason with the person who sent the message. I kept silently saying, “I’m sorry” and “I love you”. I didn’t say it to anyone in particular. I was simply evoking the [tag]spirit[/tag] of love to [tag]heal[/tag] within me what was creating the outer circumstance. Within an hour I got an email from the same person. He apologised for his previous message. Keep in mind that I didn’t take any outward action to get that apology. I didn’t even email him back. Yet, by saying these two simple phrases I somehow healed within me what was creating the separation within him.
I later attended a seminar run by Dr. Len. He’s now 70 years old, considered a grandfatherly shaman, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised my book, “The Attractor Factor”. He said that as I improve myself, my book’s vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In short, as I improve, my readers will improve. I asked about the books that have already been sold and in circulation. His reply blew my mind with its simple yet profound, mystic wisdom: “They aren’t out there, they are still within you”. In short, there is no “out there”.
It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth it deserves. Suffice It to say that whenever you want to improve anything in your life, there’s only one place to look: inside yourself. When you look, do it with love.”
No longer is my [tag]success[/tag] linked to the actions or beliefs of others. No more do I need to reason, manipulate, beg or bribe. I just forgive. Now when my mother-in-law is having outburst I say to myself, “I love you, I’m sorry” and I really mean it. This is not always easy but if I just keep in my mind I’m responsible for everything in my reality, I feel so much more free. How about you? Try it out and let us know what happens for you.
About the Author...
Joanne Hay, Editor of Nourished Magazine, Chief Nourisher and Mother of three is very grateful to live in Byron Bay and be able to share all she has learned about Nourishment. She has trained as an Acupuncturist (unfinished), Kinesiologist (finished) and parent (never finished). She serves the Weston A Price Foundation as a chapter leader. She loves sauerkraut, kangaroo tail stew, home made ice cream, her husband Wes and her kids Isaiah, Brynn and Ronin (in no particular order…well maybe ice cream first).
Jan 29th, 2007 at 9:57 am
Wow! This is just amazing! I am very familiar with the teachings of Serge Kahili King and I’ve used his Dynamind technique to create my own and heal many things. Thank you so much for sharing this and the technique of “I’m sorry and I love youâ€.
All you need is love? I think all illness stems from the lack of love. Lack of love for oneself, from another towards oneself, lack of self-respect (another form of love) for one’s personal beliefs, self-betrayal, withdrawal of love, it is the biggest “sin†(which means missing the mark). Send love to the part of your body that is ill and see what happens. I intend to do just that!
Jan 29th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Well put Luminous Dream. I have actually put the “I’m sorry and I love you” into practice and it truely works miracles. At the end of the day it is quite possible the best form of love we can offer given our current ’state of mind’ and until we are free from the illusion of separation.
Feb 6th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
This is wonderful, and profound.
Thank you deeply for sharing this wisdom.
Feb 6th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Leonie - try it out - I highly recommend it.
Feb 11th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
This is intriguing but I can’t quite grasp it. If everything in my world is my reality and therefore I am responsible for it does that mean I am 100% responsible for the state of the planet? It feels like too heavy a weight to bear!
Feb 12th, 2007 at 11:54 am
It seems to me, Robyn, the grasping is in the Doing. Forgiveness is not something one can think about, only something one can allow. Since our natural state is of oneness, allowing the energy of forgiveness to heal our separation (the cause of all pain and disease) seems a natural remedy. Please read my post about meeting Anandagiriji to dive deeper into oneness.
Feb 16th, 2007 at 7:30 pm
Well, I guess it depends on how you see things Joanne. For me: I see the separation began with agriculture. It was then that we began to separate from Nature. The hollow void we feel that inspires so many to “seek the truth” and find some sense of it all in spirituality/religion is caused by us not living how we were evolved to live. For me, being in nature is a spiritual experience and helps me to feel a part of the whole (is that what you mean by “oneness”?)
I read your article about meeting Anandagiriji. Enlightenment seems such an illusive state. Understanding the cause of the separation for me makes me feel enlightened but I’m no enlightened being and I have my doubts that there really is such a being.
Although I can see we are “separated” because we have lost sight of our “oneness” with Nature (and I include the universe in this sense) I cannot see that I can be responsible for the state of the planet anymore than a cell in my body is responsible for the state of my health (even though it contributes to my state of health).
Feb 17th, 2007 at 11:46 am
Namaste Robyn, It is within the apparent (illusionary) individual that paints how we see things and therefore initiates the comment….”it depends on how you see things”. Separation comes in many disguises. All thoughts arise from a collective plane. We think they belong to us. We take ownership of ‘our’ thoughts and even those apparent individual thoughts of others. We believe politicians, the government and other organisations are responsible for the crime and violence we see among religions, community affairs, environmental wellbeing. We think ‘they’ are responsible for all wars and all dis-ease on the planet. Not so. All of this is just a deeper condition which is housed within us all. Every human expression is responsible for this collective violence. There is no individual at all. What happens to one, affects the ‘many’. This is why deep feelings arise for the planet when she is raped of her giving nature. If this is what is felt, check in on the level of inner generosity.
If feelings of anger arise towards a government descision, check in on the level of inner anger towards a family member or friend or self. If feelings of resentment, hurt, guilt, any struggle towards what is happening in the external expression of life, look within to what is robbing you of joy and love. Look within to see what is constantly dividing right from wrong, good from bad, perfect from imperfect, the ’should-be’ and the ’should-not-be’. All this inner conflict becomes the outer conflict. Conflict leads to suffering - both inner and outer. This is separation. Its begins within. As humans our conditioning is to blame outwardly. This is a collective conditioning that we, as humans residing on this planet, have shared for thousands of years. We may have evolved in sophistication and technology, but the collective thoughts haven’t changed a great deal. Having said that, we are now moving towards the possibility of oneness. This new age is calling us back to the divine nature in all. It is time to remember. It is time to awaken dormant causeless joy and love. It is time to be liberated from the clutches of the mind. No more inner comments about how things ’should’ be. This change can only happen through Grace, through connecting with the Divine.
May I suggest you create your own image of God….any image. Perhaps an aspect of nature if that is your calling. Ask your God to dissolve all conflict within or alternatively ask to feel it at its fullest and then you will feel how you also contribute to the state of the planet. En-lighten the load of inner conflict first. Then experience reality in a new light.
Blessings.
Feb 21st, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Thanks for your comments Julia. I agree with much of what you write. Yes, we all contribute in some way to the state of the planet, just by being here, both for “good” and “bad”. I agree that we cannot simply blame the powers-that-be on the state of things: that they too have been born into this “deeper condition” which I believe is civilization.
If we are to reconnect with what you call the “divine nature in all” it will be by following Nature’s laws instead of the ignorant, destructive rules of civilization. It worked for humans for millions of years. Civilization has only been a recent change (10 thousand years).
I admire your faith in a coming new age (in which I’m guessing you envision the inclusion of humans). I agree there will be a new age: there has to be, this present system is absolutely unsustainable and is destined to crash. Whether humans will survive the crash (along with all the other life forms we share the planet with) is the question.
But then, going by what you said previously that we are not individuals, I guess the same can apply to our species. Even if Earth dies and becomes a dustbowl like Mars the Universe will carry on.
Feb 26th, 2007 at 8:33 am
I recently had to write a bio for a Sacred Mystery School I am attending. I started out writing the usual things that people would consider for a bio like name, age, job but it just didn’t feel right. So I opened my heart and called in my God Presence and here’s what came through:
“I am the Eternal part of You that chose Me to experience Life in this body, so that I may reflect back to You the deepest knowings of your Divinity and Highest Purpose.
I am that part of you connected by our Heart Flame so that we may jointly remember Who We Really Are.
I am the mirror whose reflection is your God Presence that will shine for you in your most human hour.
I am the Divine Mother here to bring Hope, Health and Healing to the world in whatever form that strums your heart strings. I am the Divine Father to bring Light, Strength and Creation to the world to show You the Amazing Power You have within.
I am the lullaby, the open arms and the cradle for you to take comfort and shelter until the sun rises again in your Heart.
I am here for your sustenance, drink all that You can from Me for in doing so, You have given Me life.”
I guess somewhere I was trying to convey that we are one.
I am just part of you and
you are part of me and
we are part of all that is.
You can only heal yourself if you accept what you see with love.
Thanks beautiful sister Joanne for bringing this article to me. Blessings to all.
Feb 26th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
after reading Rossana’s lovely words thought I would pass on this interesting reply by Neale Donald Walsch to Richard Dawkins concerning his theory about the existence of God. ‘Conversations with God’ was given to me by my lovely daughter, Joanne, but I still haven’t managed to get past Ch 2. However, Neale has struck a chord with me with this reply.
Is God a delusion?
Send this article to a friend.
Neale Donald Walsch
This article appeared in Ode issue: 41
Neale Donald Walsch, author of Conversations with God, responds to biologist Richard Dawkins’ assertion that God does not exist in any form
English scientist Richard Dawkins ignited a fierce debate with his book The God Delusion (Houghton Mifflin, 2006)—which is, as its title baldly announces, a refutation in exacting detail of the existence of God. The controversy shows no sign of dampening; Dawkins views continue to inflame strong opinions on all sides about our relationship to science, society and religion. This comes as no surprise to those who have followed the distinguished career of Richard Dawkins—an evolutionary biologist long known as “Darwin’s rottweiler†for his rousing defence of natural selection. His 1976 bestseller The Selfish Gene advanced the provocative and now influential idea that instead of using genes to reproduce themselves, organisms— including humans—are actually being used to satisfy their genes’ need to reproduce.
Now Dawkins is back, this time asking readers to imagine that there is no such thing as the God we think we know. “If God created the universe,†he asks, “who created God?â€
He targets our collective belief in the existence of God as our culture’s most dangerous attribute. “As a scientist,†Dawkins writes, “I am hostile to fundamentalist religion because it actively debauches the scientific enterprise. It teaches us not to change our minds, and not to want to know exciting things that are available to be known. It subverts science and saps the intellect.â€
Religion, he adds, isn’t a reasonable explanation for anything. The embattled biologist dreams of a time when atheism is widespread and God has no role to play in our thoughts or our politics.
We invited Neale Donald Walsch, author of the bestselling Conversations with God, to respond to Dawkins. While Walsch is no more popular among fundamentalist believers than Dawkins, he draws different conclusions about the meaning of existence in a series of books that have sold millions of copies and been translated into more than 30 languages.
–The editors
God does not exist. So argues Professor Richard Dawkins in his latest book, The God Delusion. And he claims to have scientific evidence to prove it.
Should any of us care? Yes, because Dawkins is no ordinary person. He is an esteemed scientist from England’s Oxford University who has the ear of millions. I believe his argument that there is no God is a sad point of view which brings no benefit whatsoever to the human race. And that is why we should care. If the whole of humanity should ever adopt this point of view, I believe we will have lost our greatest asset, our greatest tool, our greatest advantage as we step more deeply into the 21st century.
However, Dawkins is not entirely wrong. The God of which he speaks—of which most organized religions speak, the God I call Yesterday’s God—does not exist. In The God Delusion, Dawkins argues that science and not religion, evolution and not intelligent design, hold the answer to the greatest mystery of the universe: life itself, how it came to be and how it functions, in all its physical forms. And I believe he is right.
It does, however, not explain life in all its non-physical forms. It does not explain miracles, or any other metaphysical experience, of which there is ample evidence in our world. In short, Dawkins has brilliantly told us what God is not, but has told us nothing of what God is. He assumes that since there is ample evidence of what God is not, then God itself does not exist. I don’t think the first position proves the second. Dawkins apparently does. And therein lies his disservice. I would have wished that a mind as brilliant as Dawkins’ would have gone about analyzing the extraordinary anecdotal evidence, available from any one of several hundred million people on the planet, of the existence of God… or of something, whatever name you want to give it, that even science cannot explain, but that shows up in the day-to-day experience of human beings as very real, very present, very reliable, and very useful.
I myself have had plenty of evidence of the existence of what I call “God.†I have seen from my own life that “God†is a power, an energy that can be used with consistent and predictable results. I agree with Dawkins that God is not a celestial superpower, vindictive except with those who love Him—in the way He wants and needs them to love Him. He is not a God that exists to judge our every thought, word, and deed, granting or failing to grant our requests and punishing or rewarding us at the end of our lives based on wholly unknown criteria. Dawkins has pulled all the stops to debunk that particular notion, to which I say bravo.
But I couldn’t disagree more with what Dawkins writes in his first chapter: “If the word ‘God’ is not to become completely useless, it should be used in the way people have generally understood it: to denote a supernatural creator that is ‘appropriate for us to worship.’†The opposite, I think, is true. Continuing to use the word “God†in the way people have generally understood it (as someone to worship) renders the word completely useless.
I believe in God because I have had a conversation with God, an inner dialogue with an essence and a source that has brought forth information I would never, could never, have dreamt of on my own. That conversation has made it clear to me that God is a process—the process of life itself—and therefore that the words God and life are interchangeable.
I feel the implications of this are staggering, earth shaking, paradigm-shattering. This is because everyone knows what is true about life. Everyone may not know what is true about God, but everyone knows what is true about life. What is true about life is that nothing stands outside of life. Nothing exists without life. We are the expression of life itself. So is everything around us. Even so-called inanimate objects are found, when examined under a microscope, to consist of particles constantly in motion. These particles and their movements are all part of life. Indeed, everything in the observable universe is life, in some form. The existence of life is confirmed by life itself. Life is self-referencing, self-confirming, self-sustaining, and self-evident. Life is the evidence of the existence of life.
Everyone alive knows these things. But look what happens when the word ‘God’ is inserted where the word ‘life’ appears. That produces this result:
Nothing stands outside of God. Nothing exists without God. You are the expression of God itself. So is everything around you. Even so-called inanimate objects are found, when examined under a microscope, to consist of particles constantly in motion. These particles and their movements are all part of God. Indeed, everything in the observable universe is God, in some form. The existence of God is confirmed by God itself. God is self-referencing, self-confirming, self-sustaining, and self-evident. God is the evidence of the existence of God.
These simple thoughts cause all the dogma and stricturese about God to fall apart. Everything crumbles. Not just a few of our beliefs about God, but the very basis upon which we have built so much of human society. It all comes tumbling down. The wonderful thing about this, the exciting thing, is that we get to recreate ourselves anew, and rebuild our human society—and a huge part of that process is our renewed exploration of the whole idea of God.
Taking such a journey would benefit mankind enormously, for in doing so, we acknowledge something in the universe greater than we are. Once that acknowledgement is made, we can use God to create our most desired reality. Until we acknowledge that life is God, we cannot use this power, not turn to God as an ever present help in times of need. That is to deny our greatest resource.
So, dear Professor Dawkins, if you are saying that Yesterday’s God is a delusion, you are right. If you are saying that God in any form, known or unknown, taught or untaught, understood or not understood, does not exist, you are wrong.
Neale Donald Walsch is author of many books on spirituality. His series ‘Conversations With God’ are the most popular. More information: http://www.nealedonaldwalsch.com
May 7th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Please can you help me to understand this Ho’oponopono in as much as what we say??
Some websites tell us to say “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, I thank you.”
Others, as here, say that it is “I’m sorry, I love you.” or doesn’t it really matter too much either way?
Blessings
May 8th, 2007 at 9:39 am
Joy, I believe it doesn’t matter. Do what feels best for you and let us know which works better. Incidentally, apparently The Course in Miracles suggests we forgive ourselves for dreaming this dream. Just taking it another step. This works for me. It helps me to step through the frustration, judgement, non-acceptance of what is and dream a new dream.
May 12th, 2007 at 5:23 pm
Joanne, Thank you so much for the info…….
KISS…………….Keep it simple sweetheart is the way I will follow it then..
Blessings
Mar 24th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I am a traditional hooponopono practitioner. actually there is no such thing, whatsoever in the hawaiian culture.
Hooponopono was a practice used in kahuna laau lapaau poo, a traditional native hawaiian practice of medicine, which uses hooponopono as a clearing the way, and a precurser to actually healing poeple of the medical ailments.
it was only done my a senior member of a freind form outside of the family along with discussions with the ohana kupunas.
i have witnessed the true hooponopono. it lasts about a week and involves all memebrs of the family. everyone even flies in from other places to attend this. hooponopono was done for many reasons, but the reasons were never small or trivial.
only the beleif that one was facing imminent death, either from a kahuna laau lapaau anaana, or another source of great distress. these are the real reasons you have a hooponopono.
all of this new age stuff getting mixed up with our traditional cultural beleifs is a whole lot of hogwash. PEOPLE HAVE PERVERTED THE HOOPONOPONO PROCESS TO BEING: OH I HAD A BAD HAIR DAY, AND I HATE MY HAIRDRESSER..LETS HOOPONOPONO. i THINK EVERYONE JUST LIKES SAYING THE WORD.
I frankly am appaled with the use of a sacred ceremony like hooponopono being used like this. it is part of the medicinal healing process, and the entire laau lapaau process. You cant just chop up the process into little peicves, trivialize it, and then put it into practice, because you all like the cute little hawaiian word attached to it.
You are not trained, do not come from the 40 generations and names of kahuna laau lapaau which is the beleif. You must be chosen, and trained properly for many years, otherwise it is beleived you may go insame, or cause death and disease upon those you are attempting to cure. You must also understand anaana thoroughly. and alsom these afflictions do not happen to poeple outside of the native hawaiian bloodlines. it is beleived that only hawaiians suffer these ailments, because it is the past family members that are causing it. hooponopono will not work for white poeple who are not connected to someone of hawaiian blood in some way.
Frankly i am appaled. Hooponopono is practiced by close family freinds who are appointed by kupunas, or elders to perform this ceremony for a particular family, and a partifcular family only. Hawaiians did not discuss anything to do with their private family matters with any one else, because they beleive in the system of aumakuas, or ohana uhane. family spirits that can become jelous and cause trouble.
you really need to understand that the ripping off of the culture by others and writting books and whatever..these poeple hacve done nothing for the hawaiian poeple who suffer in abject poverty at this time. you must never charge for your knowlege, or steal your knowlege.
please understamd, i am trying to educate you not scold you. if you want to know more about this feel free top email me and i will be happy to assist you. mahalo
greenforestwoman22009@yahoo.com