Nourished Magazine :: Wisdom to thrive by

While driving home from dropping kids at school one day I was following a talk back discussion on Radio National about the pressures of modern family living; particularly the supposed tussle between loving one’s children and loving one’s partner. One woman spoke about being in love with her husband and her children and how unusual this is amongst her friends. This was followed by a rash of callers declaring that to be ‘in love’ with one’s children was nonsense. One of the calls was from a woman who bitterly recalled her disappointment and guilt that she did not ‘fall in love’ with her child when she was born. The woman had been told she would fall in love instantly and her life would change the moment her baby was born. She has now angrily dismissed her friends’ and relatives’ promises of instant love and awakening, and has resigned herself to growing in her love for her daughter as time goes on, thinking this experience more realistic.

She then mentioned that she had had a 37 hour labour followed by a caesarean and was dealing with severe breastfeeding pain when she met her baby.

How realistic is that?

Unfortunately it’s very realistic. In fact, with caesarean rates at around 30% and even 50% in many private hospitals as well as other intervention in around 80% of births, babies are born into this kind of experience every day. This, however, is not the way nature intended it. Left to birth naturally, women and babies can experience enormous love and, yes, ecstasy during the birthing process.

I have written about my experiences of birthing and early mothering in relation to nutrition before but never ventured into the experience of birth itself. Perhaps at some time I will feel able to put into words the gifts of awe and power that my three birthings bestowed upon me. For now, I’ll leave it up to great women such as Sarah J Buckley.

If you’re looking for a comprehensive book about birth “Gentle Birthing, Gentle Mothering” is it. Including some 27 essays about the many facets of birth, Sarah J Buckley’s manifesto contains the answer to almost any quandary you or your support people may have about your birthing and parenting choices.

A prolific writer, Sarah has published most of the work in the book in several publications around the world over the past 10 years. She has kept each essay intact but has updated and reworked them slightly, offering them as chapters in her book. The book’s value as a resource is immeasurable because you can copy one or two articles at a time to give to your family, midwife or doctor if need be. Each article is well researched and referenced and Sarah points to many avenues of further learning in her excellent resources section.

The book is a wonderful balance of Sarah’s personal experience of birth and parenting, and her scientific research into the medical aspects of pregnancy and birth such as ultrasounds and epidurals. Maybe you have wondered whether, indeed, ultrasound is as safe as your obstetrician says – Sarah presents the research and the questions raised and argues that, in fact, there is certainly cause for concern about the possible long term effects of the frequent, high powered ultrasound scans that are conducted throughout most women’s pregnancies today.

Chapter 13 “Undisturbed Birth - Mother Nature’s Blueprint for Safety, Ease and Ecstasy” is my favourite essay and worth buying the book for. It traces the beautiful hormonal dance a naturally birthing body performs if left well alone. It also speaks about what happens if it is tripped up and trampled on by well meaning but overbearing dance partners ie. obstetricians.

Sarah tells the story of a natural birth; of what each stage of birth feels like if hormones are left to express themselves naturally, climaxing in a rush of ecstasy and love when a new human emerges and breast feeding begins. This is not “a nonsense”. This is not a fairy story. This is in fact more realistic than the stories of terror and violence most modern women tell (or don’t tell).

Sarah’s story of birth is quite realistic. This story promises to bring about great healing. This story promises that it is realistic to expect following a naturally ecstatic birth to “fall in love” with your child. And I promise it is most definitely realistic to expect that reading Sarah’s book will bring you closer to birthing in the way nature intends. I whole hearted recommend this book for any women intending to birth or any person intending to support a women who is birthing. In fact, I recommend this book for any person whose deepest wish is to heal the earth because for Sarah and her contemporaries, to heal birth is to heal the earth.

Dr Sarah J Buckley is a GP, mother of four and author of “Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: The wisdom and science of gentle choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting.”

You can purchase her book from sarahjbuckley.com

You can read more articles by Sarah Buckley here.

About the Author...

A Super Hero and one of many who have realised their true calling as saviors of humanity, healers of our connection with Nature and creators of Heaven on Earth. The Nourisher's gift is the re-spiritualisation of the 'process of recreation' we call eating. Mother of three Super Heroes in training and wife to her God incarnate, The Nourisher hails from the place of feminine healing, Byron Bay, Australia. She gathers together Life Creators from all over the globe at NourishedMagazine.com.au