Nourished Magazine :: Wisdom to thrive by

Desire has been defined by men in most civilisations since history began to be recorded, orally or in writing. Men have dictated how women should be, act, look, love, live. Until very recent times in Western civilisation, men, first the fathers or brothers, then the husbands or sons, owned women, whose duty was ‘to honour and obey’, as the marriage service put it. Marriage, in terms of the law, exists for the protection of children and the preservation of property, but it has for centuries been an arena of conflict, with violent emotional and often physical and legal struggles over issues of rights, parenthood, sexuality, property, authority.

Nowadays, the majority of women in most Western countries have much more choice in how they live, who they share their bodies with, whether or not they bear children. Yet still we struggle to have a voice in how our society and culture are shaped. Still Indigenous and non-Indigenous people in remote communities and in urban areas are struggling with ill health, poverty, lack of opportunity, dispossession, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence and sexual abuse. Still the main measure of success in our society, in Australia, is how much you earn and how much you own. Still the popular media is driven by the cult of celebrity. Still capitalism and consumerism are the driving forces of social, economic and political life. What can we do to change the balance? What can women do?

The political, cultural and social levels are all important and much work is being done to make our democracies more inclusive, more allowing of difference. There is another level, more intimate, less obvious, harder to define and discuss, which informs and shapes these material forms of life. It is the level of the spirit. Paul Keating, surprisingly, emphasised the importance of being true to the spirit, of not acting in a way that damages the soul of the nation, when he was interviewed for ABC TV’s Sorry Day program. I say surprisingly, because politicians spend most of their time talking and acting on the material and political levels. Yet clearly, Kevin Rudd’s decision (with his party’s backing) to say Sorry, and to have the Indigenous people perform the opening ceremony for the first Parliament of 2008, was made from the heart and from the soul, and was responded to and echoed by millions (though not all) of Australians. A report in The Australian newspaper of 19 February tells us that a newspoll conducted has found that 69% of Australians endorse the government’s apology to the Stolen Generation and their families, though a much lower percentage (just over one-third) agree they should be compensated financially. This, however, may be because of ignorance and misinformation about how and how much compensation should be made. As one Indigenous woman pointed out in an ABC TV interview on Sorry Day, a levy of $1 on our car licence and insurance cover is no more than the cost of two postage stamps, and would be at least a good start towards building a compensation fund. Here we need our government to show leadership and to guide the debate, but we can contribute by voicing our desire to help in any way we are able. This is an example of how we can translate compassion and atonement into practical measures, how we can all contribute a very small amount in the name of justice and humanity. The hard work of improving health, housing and education for Indigenous people will be done by our government and their public servants in consultation with Indigenous leaders and communities, but we can all help. This is a wonderful start to a more spiritual era of politics and government. By spiritual, I do not mean religious, since I see religions as potentially divisive. I mean that level of being that is conscious, incorporeal, vital, that chooses, creates and informs life on the material level.

What is the connection of desire with the spirit? I see desire as far more than sexual. I see it as an impersonal creative force that is the source of all life and material forms. Until fairly recently, I saw it differently. I saw it as formed out of lack and loss, as the infinite yearning for the unattainable, for what we have lost or can never have. That is because I was brought up in a middle class patriarchal family in a middle class patriarchal society, with a father who abandoned the family when I was a child. I went on to repeat these losses in my adult life.

About ten years ago, I began to write my life, and to study theories of desire. I found a body of writing that challenged me to think desire differently. The radical French pair, Gilles Deleuze, a philosopher, and Félix Guattari, a psychoanalyst, wrote that desire is pure affirmation, the effect of a universal becoming, and that it creates being, or material forms. This is a simple philosophy that has enormous ramifications. They write that we live on two planes, the plane of immanence or desire or becoming, and the plane of organised forms or being. We are shaped by the plane of immanence, and in turn we shape it by the way we live and think. This means that we are not determined by our circumstances; we can change them, though we also must live within them. We do not need to escape to a transcendent plane, we can unfold and refold ourselves, like origami. We need both planes. All life and created forms are pulled in two directions, one towards the plane of stable and settled forms, and one towards the plane of desire, of change, flux and creativity. We must live on the material plane, but we can access the creative plane of desire and become different. Life is a constant process of becoming. We live, or be, in our bodies, and we become in our creative intercourse with the plane of desire. To deny one is to cause the other to wither, to stultify. Wholeness is not a static state, it is an interactive dynamic process, in which we are constantly making new connections, becoming different.

The language of this philosophy may be unfamiliar, but it is saying in a different way what women have known for centuries, though we have struggled to live accordingly because of our circumstances. We have known that we are defined, not by what we are not (the masculine perspective) but by what we are, infinite beings who are constantly becoming-new.

How does this translate to everyday life? We can choose to live differently within the necessary framework of working, earning money, providing shelter for ourselves and our families. We can find a small plot of land, even if we live in the city, even if we are renting, even if it is only a balcony that will support containers to grow some herbs, some fruit, some greens. We can teach our children to honour and enjoy nature in all its forms, to care for and nurture all sentient beings. We can choose to work in areas where we can make a difference to other people’s lives, in whatever way we are gifted. Or we can live in a rural or semi-rural setting and work towards more sustainable ways of living. We can choose and cook food that is whole, organic, nutrient-rich, and share it with others. We can love ourselves, our families and our neighbours in everyday, practical ways, nurturing our spirits and our bodies, making the most of what we have and desiring, not to possess, but to connect with others and the world we live in and to share at a heart and soul level as well as at a physical level. We can choose to live joyously, creatively and affirmatively.

About the Author...

Christina Houen is a 68-year-old woman living in Perth, Western Australia. She has published several stories and essays nationally and internationally, and is completing a PhD thesis on women and desire. She and a co-editor, Jena Woodhouse, published a collection of short stories and poems by contemporary Australian women: Hidden Desires: Australian Women Writing, Ginninderra Press, 2006. This anthology is almost out of print now, but is available in many libraries.