Comments on: Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff http://nourishedmagazine.com.au/blog/articles/continuum-concept-by-jean-liedloff Wisdom to thrive by Thu, 17 May 2012 10:47:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Maria http://nourishedmagazine.com.au/blog/articles/continuum-concept-by-jean-liedloff#comment-32258 Maria Fri, 13 May 2011 13:13:16 +0000 http://nourishedmagazine.com.au/blog/articles/continuum-concept-by-jean-liedloff#comment-32258 I've just read this book and it's changed the way I view myself as a parent and as a person. My son Lachlan is 10 months old now, and I've spent the time since he was born wrestling with my own instincts as a parent to co-sleep and attend to his needs on cue, and the advice of doctors, friends, social commentators and almost every parenting book I've read that I was spoiling him. Most of my friends have been to sleep school with their babies, almost all sleep separately from their babies usually in a separate room. Most have done some form of controlled crying with their babies, most have spaced out feeds according to a schedule, and all have spent hours awake at night trying to resettle their babies without feeds because someone told them that their babies 'should' be able to sleep through by now!! Since reading the Continuum Concept I have finally surrendered to my baby as the expert in his own needs, and to my instincts as a mother in meeting those needs. I have also explored what it means to live by this philosophy in our times, thinking about who constitutes my 'tribe' and making more of an effort to spend time with those people, including older children who can 'mother' my son and enrich his experience of the world. No, we can't all live in the jungle again. But we can find new and creative ways to include others in our children's lives in ways that can also lighten our experience as parents, which in our culture can sometimes be a lonely and isolating experience especially as a stay at home parent. Just tonight I had dinner with friends who have three older children, the youngest being 8yo now. Where before I had thought our children didn't have anything in common because of the age gap, I now see them as great role models for Lachlan to watch and learn from as older members of his 'tribe'. I watched the 8yo pick Lachlan up and play with him instinctively, and resisted the urge to tell her to be careful of him. Of course she was being careful, she was using her innate 'mothering' instincts that each one of us have to care for him, and it was beautiful to watch! I have also begun to come to terms with my own birth and unmet needs from my first year of life, and I have seen how my feelings of being 'bad', 'wrong' and 'unwelcome' in the world have played out in everyday experiences. Now I'm exploring how I can instead feel right, good and welcome in the world as I have evolved to be, but which I have been deprived of all these years due to my early experiences as a baby. I'm finding that just repeating to myself as a kind of mantra 'I am right, I am good, I am welcome', in situations that cause me anxiety instantly calms my mind and body and allows me to relax. Thank you for writing such a clear and concise and article! I’ve just read this book and it’s changed the way I view myself as a parent and as a person. My son Lachlan is 10 months old now, and I’ve spent the time since he was born wrestling with my own instincts as a parent to co-sleep and attend to his needs on cue, and the advice of doctors, friends, social commentators and almost every parenting book I’ve read that I was spoiling him. Most of my friends have been to sleep school with their babies, almost all sleep separately from their babies usually in a separate room. Most have done some form of controlled crying with their babies, most have spaced out feeds according to a schedule, and all have spent hours awake at night trying to resettle their babies without feeds because someone told them that their babies ’should’ be able to sleep through by now!!

Since reading the Continuum Concept I have finally surrendered to my baby as the expert in his own needs, and to my instincts as a mother in meeting those needs. I have also explored what it means to live by this philosophy in our times, thinking about who constitutes my ‘tribe’ and making more of an effort to spend time with those people, including older children who can ‘mother’ my son and enrich his experience of the world.

No, we can’t all live in the jungle again. But we can find new and creative ways to include others in our children’s lives in ways that can also lighten our experience as parents, which in our culture can sometimes be a lonely and isolating experience especially as a stay at home parent. Just tonight I had dinner with friends who have three older children, the youngest being 8yo now. Where before I had thought our children didn’t have anything in common because of the age gap, I now see them as great role models for Lachlan to watch and learn from as older members of his ‘tribe’. I watched the 8yo pick Lachlan up and play with him instinctively, and resisted the urge to tell her to be careful of him. Of course she was being careful, she was using her innate ‘mothering’ instincts that each one of us have to care for him, and it was beautiful to watch!

I have also begun to come to terms with my own birth and unmet needs from my first year of life, and I have seen how my feelings of being ‘bad’, ‘wrong’ and ‘unwelcome’ in the world have played out in everyday experiences. Now I’m exploring how I can instead feel right, good and welcome in the world as I have evolved to be, but which I have been deprived of all these years due to my early experiences as a baby. I’m finding that just repeating to myself as a kind of mantra ‘I am right, I am good, I am welcome’, in situations that cause me anxiety instantly calms my mind and body and allows me to relax.

Thank you for writing such a clear and concise and article!

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